Friday, May 30, 2008

JJNN 9 May 30th, 2008

Welcome again to JJNN for Friday May 30th, 2008. Today I am going to take a little break from the news and talk about one of the strange pseudoscientific (pseudohistoric?) things that I came upon during my stay in Japan.

It is not a well known fact, but the grave of Jesus Christ (yes, the one of religious fame) is actually in Japan. Don't believe me? Need some proof? What more proof do you need than this:

You got it. That is a street sign that points the way to the tomb of Christ. You may be thinking "Hold on...why would Jesus Christ be buried in Japan?" Now that is a good question! And like most good questions, it comes with a highly entertaining and long answer. Apparently, Christ visited Japan when he was 21 to learn how to become more divine. This would account for the "lost years" in the bible. After he found out what he needed to know (what that could be...the world may never know) he left Japan and went back to Judea. As the story goes, things didn't go well for old Jesus back in the home country. He got arrested and was set to get a good stoning. Well, Jesus was too smart for that. You see Jesus had a younger brother named Isukiri (just go with it!) who took his place at the cross.

Yes! You got it! That wasn't Jesus up there on the cross! It was his brother cursing at himself for being so stupid to take Jesus's place. This begs the question: Does that mean that Isukiri rose from the dead and went to the right hand of his holy father and all that? There are so many theological questions that come out of this idea.

Any way, while his little brother is doing the noble thing and getting stoned to death, Jesus decides to get the hell out of town (probably the smart thing to do). Jesus somehow makes it across Siberia and crosses to Alaska. He takes a boat from Alaska to Japan. Now, I may not be a wiz at geography, but I think Jesus is much worse at it than I am! Maybe he was shooting for America but got lazy along the way.

Any way, Jesus finally lands back in Japan. Instead of dealing the the harsh emotional pains of betraying his brother and running away to a backwards country he decides to go with the flow. He settles down in a place called Herai in northern Japan. Not only does he settle down, but he gets his groove on! He ended up finding a Japanese wife (named Miyuko) and having 3 daughters. Talk about a religious family!

Christ ended up living to the age of 106 before finally dieing. This left the village just one problem. What do they do with the body? Well I guess it seems obvious: bury it. What does not seem so obvious is what they end up labeling the grave. They didn't bother labeling it anything like "Christ's grave." That woudl be too easy. They ended up calling it something like Toraizuka. It was not "discovered" again to be Christ's grave until 1934.

Like I said, it was a long answer. But, I think it is highly entertaining. I think I might go take a look next time I get that far north. The reason why I am getting around to talking about this now is the fact that they have a Christ Festival at this grave ever year on the first Sunday in June. That is coming up fast! I wanted to tell you all about it so you could get your plane tickets in time for the festival. Here is some freaky video of the festival from years past:

There is something just a little bit freaky about ladies in kimono dancing around a cross. Does anyone else feel that way?

Any way I am sure most of this story gets lopped off by Occham's Razor. Not much to say in the way of debunking it because it mainly debunks itself. If there is anyone out there that does not think that this story debunks itself let me know. I will gladly smack you around with the skeptic-fish for a while.

Any way it is now time for the word of the day. Today's word is 墓(はか). It is pronounced haka and means grave. I wonder what ever happened to Isukiri's grave.

That's it for today. See you next time at JJNN.

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